gapingfurnace:

napoleon bonaparte

more like napoleon BORN2PARTY

(via letsallgetlost)

2. Never fall into the trap of marriage and life-partnership.

HAHAHA.

Okay. I totally understand that if it weren’t for my parents’ marriage I wouldn’t be right here on god’s green earth. But please, is there really a moral (more than biological) imperative to stand before a priest/civil registrar and utter ridiculous spiels about sticking with each other for better or for worse until death do they part, then ultimately capping it all of with an awkward kiss?

Please Lord Jesus, no.

I’m pretty sure I was born to live and die alone. Besides, I don’t think it’s necessary to pass on my awesome DNA to spawn a lesser (and meaner) version of me. Oh, I can’t take the horror of arguing with somebody like myself - it would be too horrible we’d probably end up killing each other. The same thing might happen if I will have a spouse. I’ve got the capacity of a baby panda to defend myself from parricide. Ya know, one has to try his darnedest so not to be sent to prison.

At least this one’s feasible. :)